"It's a funny thing about life, if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." - William Somerset Maugham
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good." - Woody Allen
"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear." - Sholom Aleichem
"If you want to look your best, be creative, try some new ideas, and have fun doing it." - Kevyn Aucoin
"Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other." - Honore de Balzac
"David tells me that fairies never say 'We feel happy': what they say is, 'We feel dancey'." - James M Barrie
"Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking." - Dave Barry
"There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God." - Bill Cosby
"George Booth and I are both funny, and from afar, without meeting, admired each other's work." - Bill Cosby
"I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way." - Bill Cosby
